Tan Tan's Letter
In her comments on Finance Minister Yetming's first budget, Senator Eastlyn McKenzie, lamenting her inability to go around to Tobagonian villages and discuss the budget as she usually does, read a letter that 'a little old lady' called Tan Tan wrote to her. According to Senator McKenzie, the letter represents a viewpoint from 'the ground'.
Its views, tinged with gentle sarcasm, are dressed generally in the vernacular of this ground, but they are also coloured by a style of speaking that is characteristic of an older generation and therefore at serious risk of obsolescence - the use of proverbs or sayings to make points with the conventionalised wisdom of a people. I haven't asked the senator whether all of the letter was actually written by her little old lady or if the latter is a literary device she invented to reflect different vibes from the ground as well as views of her own that were critical of the budget. But with apologies to Tan Tan, I suspect the latter.
Here is the letter:
Dear Eastlyn:
Is a long time I write a letter, so pardon the writing. I hope you can read it. My eyes not as good as long time, but I can see good enough to write you.
When you go down in Trinidad in the Red House, I want you to give the Minister responsible for money the thanks of we the old people. I don't know him but I does see him on TV sitting down next to mi goddaughter Jerlean. That man look so clean with his pretty white shirt; he look as a man with a clean, good heart and clean hands.
Tell him that we old people thank him for the raise in old age pension and for the bus passes. Tell him make sure we have plenty bus to carry us around and kind drivers who know how to treat old people. Tell him that the drugs in the drugstore does eat out we money. Eastlyn, most of all, I want to thank the Minister for removing VAT on things we old people does buy, especially the blue soap.
Make sure you explain to him what we in Tobago used to use blue soap for. Tell him that we used to use blue soap and scrubbing brush to scrub people tongue when they use bad word in public and when they suck their teeth. On TV, I see some high people - man and woman - calling one another donkey and bad names and talking out private secrets. Girl, when dog bite you it bad, but when your own dog bite you, it worse. Girl, tell them it don't have any sea to throw away bad family, but mi husband say 'Bundle wood have to loose before it tie good.'
Well, praise God for the Minister! Tell him get the new boat quick, we fraid aeroplane. We coming to Trinidad with we blue soap and scrubbing brush and we scrubbing their tongue clean as whistle. Tell all of them to stop washing their mouth on one another. Mi husband say to tell them 'Kitchen dresser brock down, marga darg a laugh.' Tell them they making we old people nervous and carrying up we pressure. Tell them behave theyself.
Eastlyn, careful when you down in Trinidad. Crazy people bombing tall building in America. When you see trouble, run fast. Dem in Trinidad sound like if they tired with one another. We not tired with you yet!
Tell mi goddaughter to bring a liniment B when next she coming to see me. The arthritis in mi knee hurting for so, especially when rain set up. Tell the Minister don't pay anybody no set a big set of money to find out who tief what and how much. I go use mi ring and mi Bible and a glass of water and ah go do it for free. When you come back, tell me what he say.
P.S.: Is true the Prime Minister does give 10 days? When crayfish come out a river battam and tell you eel deh deh, it dere for true.
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